The new world of pornography starts with a computer. In times past, someone had to leave their home, drive to a store to purchase, rent or watch pornography. Those days ended with the Internet. Now pornography is only one click away. People, mostly men, (though 30% of porn watchers are women) can spend hours a day hiding in front of their computer screen. This behavior is a prerequisite to a diagnosis of sex addiction.

There are several behaviors that are signs of porn addiction. They include some of the following:

• You fail to meet obligations
• You watch pornography during work hours
• You have recurring problems in your relationships
• You spend lots of money that is probably allocated for basic needs
• You hide what you do from others
• Your sex life is less satisfying than your fantasy life

These behaviors are not limited to time online. Fantasy begins to take over one’s life. Men tend to spend much of their waking life thinking about sex. The images that one sees on the computer can be indelibly imprinted in the mind. These fantasies are available 24 hours a day.

Addiction is a way to soothe oneself, when unwanted feelings arise. Men are taught at a very young age that feelings are for women, or sissies. Real men need to be strong, crying is not allowed. When feelings of sadness, anger, or even love arise, men do not know how to react. They will want to reduce the anxiety. The internet will and provide an instant a respite from uncomfortable experiences. The problem is that once the behavior stops the feelings may return. In order to prevent this, more of the addiction is needed.

You may ask yourself: “how do I get out of this vicious cycle?”

Since pornography is done mostly in isolation, the quickest way to begin recovery is to get help from others. The first time one asks for help can be very difficult. The first call for help feels like impossibility. The shame that is involved with this addiction has no boundaries. Alcoholics no longer need to hide their problem. Sex addicts are spurned by the culture and live lonely lives hidden from everyone. The porn addict may not know that they are suffering with millions of other people. Once the first call for help is made a person’s life may change forever.