Cheating and Trust

Do you suspect your husband/wife/partner of cheating?

Have you found out that they are cheating and all trust has gone out of the relationship?

Infidelity is the number one reason that couples come into therapy.  It is often the most painful experience that we go through in our lives.  Statistically 50% of relationships deal with a cheating partner.  Even though it is more often the man, the statistics do not show a huge difference.

Couple in Trouble Because of Cheating

In many cases it is the end of a relationship:  trust has been broken.  However since this occurs so often, it is truly important to discover the underlying reasons and help the relationship become whole again.  If a couple truly wants to heal from this experience  it can become the source of growth and intimacy.

As strange as it may seem, monogamy is a learned behavior.  Most of us, do not have healthy, loving, intimate relationships modeled for us.  A lot of us say that we do not want our relationship to be like our parents.  So where do we learn?  There is no Healthy Relationship 101 in school.  We have to learn it somewhere.  That is why many people turn to professionals to learn.

Men are often applauded for their exploits, and their ability to get away with it.  Cheating in a monogamous relationship is never justified.  It is a loss of innocence.  It is a broken commitment that can never be completely healed.  It is a loss that needs to be grieved, and the cheater needs to truly acknowledge the pain that they have caused and the loss that has been experienced.   However, with time and support,  healing can take place and  trust returns.

Is pornography a form of cheating?

Pornography, though acceptable to some, can also become compulsive and a way of escaping intimacy.  Some partners naively accept this as a condition of men, and there are men that do occasionally look but are not compulsive.  This has changed with online porn.  The accessibility of porn is only a click away;  so is the chemicals released in the body.  This becomes compulsive to people (30% of online porn users are woman) who are not necessarily prone to addiction.  In therapy we will access the severity of this problem.

We strive to help you understand and sort out the issues, the pains, and the solutions to these painful situations.

Are you feeling distant, experiencing more anger or Avoiding Your Partner?

Do you need healthier ways to  Communicate?