It is estimated that 14 million Americans identify themselves in long distance relationships known as a LDR. Online dating apps are quickly becoming the most common way that relationships start. People fall in love online and though it may not be practical, they desire to make things work. Many of these people have had a hard time meeting someone that lives close to them, so they do not want to let go of the chance for something more permanent. They usually start texting, talking and Facetiming each other, and start to arrange their schedules to see each as often as possible. The average time people get together is 1.5 times a month.
Tips For LDR’S
Before you part, have a plan of when you will get together again. I remember when I first met my partner who I have now been with for 14 1/2 years, we had this amazing long weekend together. It was clear to me that there was something very special here. As the time came closer to us parting, I realized that in order to continue that I needed to know when I was going to see him next. We made plans, and it gave me a sense that we were both committed to the next time together. This began to to create a safe container for our new relationship.
Remember the purpose of the second weekend is to determine if there will be a third weekend. Though you may feel like you have met the one, and you want it to be forever, the only thing you really know after the first weekend is that you want more time together. If you ask anymore from each other, you put huge pressure on each of you and the relationship itself.
Come to an agreement on how you will keep in touch while apart. At first you will probably want to communicate several times a day or more! Seriously, though it is important that you understand each other’s rhythms and discuss them. This will avoid fits of insecurity, miscommunication and hurt. For every issue in a relationship there will be the high desire person and the low desire person. for contact, as they will be different. If you do not get clear about this, one of you will invariably be upset.
Stay on A Schedule of when you can meet.
More Tips For LDR’S
- Look forward to the “upsets”, they really make the relationship stronger.
- Do not deal with conflict by email or text.
- Call time outs when you need them. It is okay to not process something immediately.
- One of the most wonderful aspects of LDR’s are that it prolongs the honeymoon stage. Enjoy it. It is okay to not have a honeymoon every time.
- Ask and communicate your needs clearly, Do not expect that your partner can read your mind.