Who should come out first? To the Parents of Gay Children
I think most gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender people struggle to come out to their family. There is much written about the causes of this. Often I hear my clients say that I haven’t come out to my grandfather but I know that he knows and accepts me. I also hear family or friends say that I know that my son is gay, my daughter is a lesbian or I think my child has gender issues.
These are the people I am directing this article at. What are you waiting for? Why are you waiting? The amount of agony and years that usually go by before a child comes out to their parents or siblings is heartbreaking and tragic. Imagine that your son or daughter, brother or sister could skip 100’s of hours of therapy and thousands of hours of anxiety fear and depression. Imagine that they could spend there time living and openly sharing their lives with you. What if they could come home and introduce you to their boyfriend or girlfriend?
As soon as you begin to know that you may have a gay, bi or trans child, it is really up to you to begin coming out. What does that mean?
1) Start with having the goal to accept and comprehend your child. Seek support groups, read articles, talk to other parents, seek supportive professionals.
2) Find out who else in the family will be supportive of you and your children.
3) Create an atmosphere of openness with your family. Show support to gay issues as you read about them or see them on television.
4) Each parent will need to find the best way to let your child know that you support their sexual orientation whether they are straight or gay.
These are some steps to coming out as a parent of gay child. There are many more and each parent will go through their own unique way of coming out.
Most of our children seek acceptance, however, if it is possible give them more. Celebrate their life with them.
Please contact us if you need help with this endeavor. We will be happy to help you make this happen.
I think most gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender people struggle to come out to their family. There is much written about the causes of this. Often I hear my clients say that I haven’t come out to my grandfather but I know that he knows and accepts me. I also hear family or friends say that I know that my son is gay, my daughter is a lesbian or I think my child has gender issues.
These are the people I am directing this article at. What are you waiting for? Why are you waiting? The amount of agony and years that usually go by before a child comes out to their parents or siblings is heartbreaking and tragic. Imagine that your son or daughter, brother or sister could skip 100’s of hours of therapy and thousands of hours of anxiety fear and depression. Imagine that they could spend there time living and openly sharing their lives with you. What if they could come home and introduce you to their boyfriend or girlfriend?
As soon as you begin to know that you may have a gay, bi or trans child, it is really up to you to begin coming out. What does that mean?
1) Start with having the goal to accept and comprehend your child. Seek support groups, read articles, talk to other parents, seek supportive professionals.
2) Find out who else in the family will be supportive of you and your children.
3) Create an atmosphere of openness with your family. Show support to gay issues as you read about them or see them on television.
4) Each parent will need to find the best way to let your child know that you support their sexual orientation whether they are straight or gay.
These are some steps to coming out as a parent of gay child. There are many more and each parent will go through their own unique way of coming out.
Most of our children seek acceptance, however, if it is possible give them more. Celebrate their life with them.
The way you let your child know that you know or have intuited will change their lives forever. This may seem overstated, however, this is one of the major questions that gay people ask of each other. Are you out to your family? How did they handle it? How close are you to them? There is no one in your child’s life that is more important to them. You can make a big difference in a good or bad adolescence.
Please contact us if you need help with this endeavor. We will be happy to help you make this happen.
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