Golden Gate Counseling: San Francisco mental health & psychotherapy

Can online porn become an addiction?

The new world of pornography starts with a computer. In times past, someone had to
leave their home, drive to a store to purchase, rent or watch pornography.   Those days
ended with the Internet. Now pornography is only one click away.   People, mostly men,
(though 30% of porn watchers are women) can spend hours a day hiding in front of their
computer screen.   This behavior is a prerequisite to a diagnosis of sex addiction.

There are several behaviors that are signs of porn addiction. They include some of the
following:

"        You fail to meet obligations
"        You watch pornography during work hours
"        You have recurring problems in your relationships
"        You spend lots of money that is probably allocated for basic needs
"        You hide what you do from others
"        Your sex life is less satisfying than your fantasy life

These behaviors are not limited to time online. Fantasy begins to take over one's life.
Men tend to spend much of their waking life thinking about sex. The images that one
sees on the computer can be indelibly imprinted in the mind. These fantasies are
available 24 hours a day.

Addiction is a way to soothe oneself, when unwanted feelings arise. Men are taught at a
very young age that feelings are for women, or sissies. Real men need to be strong,
crying is not allowed. When feelings of sadness, anger, or even love arise, men do not
know how to react. They will want to reduce the anxiety. The internet will and provide
an instant a respite from uncomfortable experiences. The problem is that once the
behavior stops the feelings may return. In order to prevent this, more of the addiction is
needed.

You may ask yourself: "how do I get out of this vicious cycle?"

Since pornography is done mostly in isolation, the quickest way to begin recovery is to
get help from others. The first time one asks for help can be very difficult. The first call
for help feels like impossibility. The shame that is involved with this addiction has no
boundaries. Alcoholics no longer need to hide their problem. Sex addicts are spurned by
the culture and live lonely lives hidden from everyone.   The porn addict may not know
that they are suffering with millions of other people. Once the first call for help is made a
person's life may change forever.

Sex and Love Addiction

Randy Weled, MFT
Golden Gate Counseling Center
Downtown San Francisco

Call or email:
415-834-1755,
i nfo@goldengatecounseling.com
for a free consultation today!

Sex Addiction