Intimacy and Sex are a fundamental part of a satisfying lasting relationship. Contrary to the cultural myth, within a healthy intimate relationship, sex can become hotter and more satisfying over time.
Isn’t Intimacy and Sex A Natural Act?
We believe that sex is a natural act: well it isn’t. The desire to procreate is natural. The desire to have children is natural. Some would say that men’s desire to have sex with anyone willing participant is natural. However, sex and intimacy, between two committed partners is learned. And most of us do not have very good teachers. In fact think
ing it is a natural act is one of the prime reasons for failed sex/intimacy in a relationship. It makes the one who desires more sex feel natural/normal and therefore entitled to have their partner be more available. Often both partners agree that the one with less desire is the problem.
We say we want more and better but we do not know how to do that. In every relationship, there is always the High Desire Person and the Low Desire person. Contrary to cultural myth: it is often the woman that has more desire in heterosexual relationships and in same sex relationships one of the partners has less desire than the other one.
Neither position is fun. The one who wants more sex feels rejected, lonely, angry and frustrated: the desire to be wanted is never fulfilled or satisfied. The one who wants less sex feels inadequate, pressured and experiences being just an object for their partners satisfaction.
Steps to An Abundant Sex Life
- Let go of the belief that sex should happen naturally.
- Imagine what it would be like to love your partner so much that you want to increase to pleasure him or her.
- Be curious about each other and communicate About your needs and desires.
- Be willing to schedule a time, and then create ways to make it special and hot.
- Accept that there is a low desire and a high desire person in each relationship.
- Talk to each other about your fears and resentments, not with defensiveness or anger but with curiosity and compassion.
Sex Therapy is not about finding better positions, or how to learn physical ways to prolong erections. It is about becoming Hot For Each Other. This again is a learned behavior.
Sex and Intimacy come when you are both bonded and individualized. It means that each of you have a full sense of self.
If you are not having the sex life that you want contact us.
We will help you break the myth, that sex dies the longer you are together. We can create you the new idea that the longer you are together, the more your sex with be Hot and Intimate.
Do you need healthier ways to Communicate?
Are you in a Multicultural or Interracial Relationship?
Has Infidelity led to a possible Dissolution of your marriage?
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