- Considering opening up an existing relationship to a poly relationship?
- Plagued by the fact that one of you is more open to the idea than the other.
- Struggling with jealousy and insecurity in your current poly relationship.
- Needing support in living an “alternative lifestyle” which deeply reflects who you are?
- Suffering from living in a world that does not understand you?
- Having difficulty communicating with your partner/partners in a calm, loving way?
Relationships dynamics are hard. For every two people there are 3 relationships.
Again, Two people = 3 relationships.
A big challenge in any relationship is to distinguish between: What are my issues? What are your issues and what are our issues. Without this awareness, relationships become plagued with miscommunication.
The step between a couple and a throuple (three people) is like leaping off a cliff:
Three people = 10 relationships
There is the relationship between the three people. Then each dyad of 2 also has 3 relationships. Again what is mine what is yours and what is ours. When I work with with Polyamorous relationships, I work the whole (all members) or with dyads and sometimes individually so that all parts of the configurations get the care they deserve.
Understanding this dynamic helps to relieve tension, as it begins to put into perspective why your relationships suffers from is much conflict, hurt, anxiety and depression.
Other struggles in a polyamorous lifestyle include: insecurity, jealousy, fear of losing the loved other, and an inability to feel in control in the usual sense that people in more traditional configurations might feel.
Polyamory, in some ways is the last frontier of coming out. There is probably no group of people who are venturing into a world where they are so deeply misunderstood. Any culture that believes that monogamy is the only way will oppress anyone who is outside of these boundaries.
I am a licensed psychotherapist with over 28 years of experience working in the mental health field. My work is body experience oriented with an emphasis on communication that is heard and understood. My work is also filled with humor, curiosity, and compassion.