- Have you been attracted to the same gender for as long as you can remember?
- Are you pretending to be a heterosexual to avoid rejection?
- Have you sought out sexual relationships with same-sex partners?
- Are you drawn to books and movies about same-sex relationships?
- Do you fantasize about same-sex relationships?
- Are you in a heterosexual marriage or relationship knowing you’re living a lie?
Coming out later in life has its unique challenges. We have been isolated for so long, hiding our truth, that the fear intensifies as we get older. We may have children, or have been married for many years. This makes the transition appear to be more difficult. It is important to realize that whenever you come out, you are not alone. There are many that have been here before you that can help. They are easier to find than you think.
Here are some steps to help with your transition. Remember that we all suffer from internalized homophobia.
- Let go of your fear of rejection and isolation: you are not alone, and, you will find supportive others whether Gay or straight.
- Come out to one person at a time. You do not need to let the whole world know at once. You can begin to form a group of supportive friends and family in your life.
- It is time to let go of the belief that being gay makes you some how less of a man or a woman.
- If you are a person of faith, there are many congregations that are gay affirming. Find one of them.
- Take the risk of meeting Gays and Lesbians in supportive environments. Look on the internet for coming-out groups, PFLAG or Gay-focused political or philanthropic organizations.
Help for the LGBT and Queer Community
Stages of Coming Out
Coming out Late in Life
Gay Sex Addiction